Category Archives: The Heart
Stagnation or Spinning Out of Control? (Essay 2 out of 52)

I started unpacking at 11:00 pm, almost as soon as I walked through the door. And as the contents of…

Black Father-Daughter Talk

A podcast featuring a 30-something black woman and her dad, talking about life. Click here to listen. (I hadn’t actually made…

Dear Future Husband, Please Forgive Me

In a past life, I slut-shamed my future husband. Except I can’t really call it slut-shaming, because the standards of…

Shifting Focus

ME: I had a good life. My program wasn’t what I really wanted, and it was hard to do that…

I Deserve Love

I’ve seen an interesting photo on Facebook a couple of times in recent days: In case you can’t see it,…

Feminist Masquerade
Mardi Gras type of mask

  I envy Ann Bauer’s life. I began reading her piece for Salon, “‘Sponsored’ by my husband: Why it’s a…

I Know I’ve Been Changed

One of the reasons I stopped working on my memoir was because when an agent strongly suggested I adapt my…

Two Things about Tipping Points

Someone asked me the following question in a Facebook comment when I posted this article on the similarities between domestic…

Her body, his seed, and patriarchal “rights”

I saw a lot of men up in arms on social media yesterday over a New Jersey Superior Court judge’s…

Living Saved, Single and Unhappy

While my parents were teaching me to be the best student I could be, my Christian faith taught me to…

Choosing to Pursue Happiness

I could have had this blog entry completed and posted yesterday, but I chose to spend time I could have…

My Best Posts of 2013

I’m a little late on looking back, but I wrote 67 posts in 2013. Here’s my top 10 list of…

Rethinking Celibacy

  April, the only character on Grey’s Anatomy who identifies as Christian and the only one who has conflicts about…

The Scandal of Losing Community

As I mentioned in my post about what I’m into, I watch Scandal religiously. I’ve found, however, that I don’t…

Is there a wrong reason to want a partner?

I got the following text from my mom at 4:45pm today: “Doing dishes now” I got this text three hours after…

How Social Justice Work Keeps You Single

Today is September 1, 2013, so it’s official: it’s been one year since a man asked for my number. To…

The Right to Have Standards

“How Promiscuity Is a Form of Self-Mutilation,” the headline read. Since I’m returning to writing a memoir largely about sexuality,…

A Dual Existence

  After the Zimmerman verdict, my pastor sent a letter to the congregation expressing his hurt and anger. Near the…

White Girl Dipped in Chocolate?

Many years ago, my father said that by the time I have children, they’ll be white kids dipped in chocolate….

Silenced No More: The VONA Experience

UPDATE 7/7/2013: People who are better photographers than I am took tons of photos of everyone. Click here to see…

How Every Christian Can Relate to Homosexuals in the Church

Last Thursday, Jeff Chu, author of the new book, “Does Jesus Really Love Me? A Gay Christian’s Pilgrimage in Search…

Even When It’s Not on ‘The List’

I think Olivia Pope was wrong about herself on last night’s “Scandal.” I don’t think she wants painful love (which…

If the Mayans are Right
photo - mayan calendar

  If the Mayans are right*, and the world does end on Dec. 21, 2012—does anyone else wonder if the…

Seeing Sisterhood Change

Many women have felt sorry for me over the years because I have no sisters. (No brothers either, FYI, but…

Handling Shade with Subtext: a lesson in writing and interracial dating

  As a writer, I love subtext, and Shonda Rhimes does it brilliantly. The genius behind “Grey’s Anatomy” and “Scandal”…

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