Category Archives: Sex
The Night My Body Meant, ‘No’

In a recent interview on All Things Considered, Vanessa Grigoriadis, author of Blurred Lines: Rethinking Sex, Power, and Consent on…

Why the Time for Pleasure is Now

Like many people, I spent most of Saturday at my computer and on my phone reading and re-tweeting updates about…

Anti-Blackness and White Blindness: A Tale of Two Sessions at #SFS17

Legal scholar and author Geoffrey Stone delivered the keynote address at the 2017 Woodhull Foundation Sexual Freedom Summit. Entitled, “Sex…

The Ruth-Boaz Myth and the Hard and the Gospel of Sexual Freedom – #SFS17 Day 2

I attended a conference session called, “Defusing the Power of Toxic Religion for Sexual Advocacy,” because I’m writing a memoir…

The Gospel of Reproductive Justice – #SFS17 Day 1

  At a table on the quiet side of the room, five black women are talking. Sex. Helping a friend…

Something I Neither Expected nor Sought (Essay 18 of 52)

Author’s Note: If you’re a steady reader of this blog, you know I worry about writing in obscurity forever. It’s…

Random Things I Would Ask and Tell Beyoncé If I Knew Her Like That But That I’m Telling You Because (Essay 7 of 52), It Was 70 Degrees Today, I Rode My Bicycle, and That Makes Me Feel Like I Can Write Something That’s Not So Serious

Do you wear a wig around the house, even when you’re by yourself? I do, and I feel conflicted about…

Being single shouldn’t feel like punishment, but for black church girls, it often does

How is a church like prison and being incarcerated like belonging to a church? Both have a way of asking,…

What I’m Still Learning from Prince

I’ve been trying to process why Prince’s death feels so much worse to me than Michael Jackson’s or even Whitney…

Slave narratives, respectability politics, black womanhood and choice

You may ask for freedom only if you live above reproach. That was the message to enslaved black people in…

Dear Future Husband, Please Forgive Me

In a past life, I slut-shamed my future husband. Except I can’t really call it slut-shaming, because the standards of…

Things I Learned in Girlhood

“There are all boys at Stephanie’s (invented name) house, so you can’t turn up like you do here. You have…

I Know I’ve Been Changed

One of the reasons I stopped working on my memoir was because when an agent strongly suggested I adapt my…

No more apologies for being a woman

I hate when I think of a snappy comeback three weeks after a discussion ends. That’s happening right now, as…

Her body, his seed, and patriarchal “rights”

I saw a lot of men up in arms on social media yesterday over a New Jersey Superior Court judge’s…

Living Saved, Single and Unhappy

While my parents were teaching me to be the best student I could be, my Christian faith taught me to…

My Best Posts of 2013

I’m a little late on looking back, but I wrote 67 posts in 2013. Here’s my top 10 list of…

Why Losing Your Virginity Is Always a Public Spectacle

I could probably blog for a year on all the issues brought up in this interview   with 19-year-old London art…

Public Sexuality and Private Privilege

I got a surprise during a recent visit to a public library to use a computer. I looked up from…

Rethinking Celibacy

  April, the only character on Grey’s Anatomy who identifies as Christian and the only one who has conflicts about…

Glorifying Gladiators

Is entertainment always glorification? I ponder this question almost every Thursday night as social media lights up with #gladiator hashtags…

What’s Really ‘Wiggy’ about Plan B

I’ve been silent on this issue mainly because I’ve been too busy raising money to update this blog with responses…

So Black People Aren’t Sex-Crazed, Baby-Making Machines?

Much has already been discussed about single African Americans’ dating desires based on findings from a poll released earlier this month that showed how black people feel…

How Every Christian Can Relate to Homosexuals in the Church

Last Thursday, Jeff Chu, author of the new book, “Does Jesus Really Love Me? A Gay Christian’s Pilgrimage in Search…

The Most Important Ingredient for a Good Sex Scene

As you may know, I spent much of this week at AWP’s 2013 conference in Boston. On the last day,…

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